The April Fools Arbitrary Character Ranking

Submit Feedback or Error


This was the Gamepress joke for April Fools, 2020. Relax, it was just a prank, bro. 

This tier list should be seen as an objectively true rating of how superior a waifu is. If you disagree, your waifu is trash, and your opinion is trash. 

Please note: an Adventurer's position within in a tier doesn't describe whether they're hotter or a better waifu than others. That's what cup size is for.

Tier 0

Reserved for the bestest waifu in the game, objectively speaking. 


This tier is for Waifus who are 100%, DTF, right now. The only reason that they are not already Euden's one true waifu is that he a few french fries short of a Happy Meal, which is tragically a common affliction of anime protagonists. 

Mom Tier

These Waifus are excellent options, but frankly they're such good moms I sort of have to wonder if you have an Oedipus complex if your waifu is in this tier. 

Eli's Harem

Bad news. These waifus are not interested in you, especially not if you're a Euden. Good news: If you're Eli, they are a huge fan. 


First of all, do not lewd the lolis. Second of all, how dare you. And third of all, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You monster.


Jamie Lannister might approve, but Ilia does not. 

Following the original purpose of Tier Lists, the ranking of Waifus in Dragalia Lost is done by a highly complex, mathematical formula, that involves cup size, temperment, and (age - 18). If you get a zero or less there, you're busted pal. 

Factors included in the ranking are:

  • How DTF they are.
  • Whether or not they are cute. 
  • Cup size.
  • Dem hips don't lie, and neither do I
  • How much fanfiction about them I've written.
  • Whether or not I can pull them in the gatcha. WHY DON'T YOU COME HOME RAMONA!
  • Like the regular tier list, I also blindefold myself, spin about three times, then throw a dart at the board. If that will tick off reddit, that's where I rank them, otherwise I get drunk and do it then. 

April 1st, 2020



If you want me to tell you just how wrong you are, make sure to visit our discord where I hide in my cave and yell at people. 

Tier 0

For now, this tier is inhabited only by Best Girl, Aoi. And also Jurota, because he's pretty fly for a white guy. Or whatever he is.