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Theater V Betting: Episode I

ep1
Let's start by looking for Theater I panelists. Time to use the Cleista Detector to locate Ceia!
How does that even work?
You know how you can remove three letters from "Cleista" to get "Ceia"? It's the same idea. Just rip out three cables over here and it's now in Ceia Mode!
I don't even want to know why that actually works.

~~1 hour later~~

*Ceiang! Ceiang! Ceiang!*

Hey, look, it's Ceia and Fury!
Welcome to the Farmboy United Coalition: Kryuger division. We have Ouroboros and Python here with us.
Blink twice if you need help, Fury.
At first the name was ironic and we always meant to change it, but we got lazy and it kind of stuck...
It's been such a short time since the last theater. How is EN doing now?
Not great, we don't have people for a panel.
Oh no… Anyways, want to come in and join our camp?
I think I'll pass.

--One Moment Later--

Everyone is gathered around the fire pit in the Farmboy United Coalition: Kryuger division's base.

So as you probably know by now, I'm retired, so I don't know if I can help with your panel.
Is this because of the whole "FkCeia" thing?
Nah, that was a long time ago. Isn't your new name different anyway? What's with the heart at the end?
Well, "Vivy" was taken…
Is that your new favorite anime?
Better than watching VTubers.

Didn't you post a VTuber music video earlier?

Don't tell people about that.
Anyways Ceia… Would this letter from your biggest fan change your mind?

"It has been a long journey, eh Ceia? I remember back when you started out voiceless and prerecorded.  The elite gamers tried to expose you as a ranking rigger. Instead, your infamy rose so hard that you gained a title, 'Ruiner.' You were in the Top 100 charts. Once you started talking, our fan base grew stronger with you. When you made the move and sang your hit single, 'Real Emotion', with GFCorner, we became more than just your fans. We became your simps.  However, Album '2.06' became the beginning of the end. The real army cried in pain as you became another e-girl. We have to give it up for your fellow soul sister, Clei-neechan. That stream was an emotional roller coaster as Clei pimp slapped the living senses out of you. After that, you were out of the picture for a bit. Once you came back, you announced your graduation. Many 'traitors' were celebrating while us, the true simp army, cried in pain. As we came to your last concert, we felt 'Real Emotion,' but it was a sorrowful farewell at the end."

I'm truly moved. It has been an amazing journey. Thank you for your support throughout the years, but this won't be a complete goodbye. I don't think I can join the panel though. While I'll still do GFL Dev Streams or something, I'm going to miss you guys.

Ceia smiles, then dissipates into the Aether on a subscription to critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, with a free trial until level 60 and the award-winning Heavensward expansion.  Soon afterwards, the sound of buzzing can be heard.  A birb walks in through the doorway.

Omegies. Anyways, the Minecraft Bees have led me to the Farmboy United Coalition: Kryuger division. Why big brain when you can follow the bees?
I see you still haven't written a proper intro, birb.
I'd have done it sooner if my team wasn't trolling me so I could take care of the IRS! I think I finally got them off my tail.
Is it that hard to pay your taxes?
It's almost my branding at this point. Meanwhile, the bees tell me you're looking for people to join your panel. This'll be a rough one but I know some people.

Kira leads the group outside, where a Rocket Fairy and cohorts crowd around a strange vehicle.

The Scientist - Coldplay
I saw these guys building a rocket ship on the way here. Maybe you could talk to them about the Theater Panel?
Theater panel? That brings me back. I really loved the banter and improv given how EN can be lol.
I loved the banter too. But I'm not dalao enough now. Hey Yuzu, I thought I told you the rockets need even more MUSCLE?
You're about as right as your Theater predictions! I'm the rocket scientist here, and I say we need more fuel. My rocket science has never failed me yet!
Except when it comes to EN. The best part of it was explaining to people why their vote was wrong by brutally cutting down each of their arguments.
Then they won and you lost.
That was the worst part. Well, since we're out of the Theater Panel, we're working together on this rocket to seek out new worlds.
You're leaving on a rocket? I shouldn't have introduced you to GregTech: New Horizons.
Yep, and we're almost done. I haven't really read the checklist but I trust Yuzu's work. Anything you think we're missing?
What about new panel members?
You can use this randomizer I built. 50% of the time it's 100% right!
Is it funny?
That's the joke. Anyways, we got our rocket, food, oxygen, and a whole mining rig for the 75 million copper ingots we need for solar panels. We're just missing the rocket fuel. Luckily I made a simple flowchart on how to make it!
Homemade rocket fuel is great and all, but I think the off-brand rocket fuel I used should work just as well.
This is literally rocket science we're dealing with here! One miscalculation could spell disaster!
As the Rocket Fairy I swear on your grave that this rocket will fly.

Yuzu turns towards the members of the Farmboy United Coalition: Kryuger div and the Theater Panel.

Thanks for all the memories, but it's time to fly. You might want to stand back a bit.

3...2...1… Gotta blast!

Nia, take me homeeeee!

The rocket successfully sails away into the stars.  And so they left, off to worlds unknown…

Wait, they forgot the space suits.
What a mess. How do we find more people now?
Beats me. But you know what? It feels good to finally have a place to rest when my tax evasion skill is on cooldown.

*knock knock*

"Hi, it's the IRS and we've detected an illegal rocket launch, which of course, must be taxed.  And-- Holy cow, is that Kira?  It's been years!  We've got you now, fowl tax evader!"

Why does the IRS still exist?

"You can count on nothing except death and taxes, and now we do both!  How else do you think we're funded?"

*birb panik noises*
There goes the rest of the Farmboy United Coalition: Kryuger division. I'm not too sure if I have time for the panel, but mind if I come along?
Not at all, we need a mascot.

Omake

Closing Remarks

On the next Episode: Since Theater I literally sailed away on a rocket ship, we're going to try and recruit the cast of Theater II! We're getting our Karmotrine detectors ready for this one...

As usual, put down your predictions, memes, and comments on the episodes! To participate, you can reply to this article, reply to the tweet on GamePress Twitter, comment on the reddit post or ping/send messages to me via discord at Hakurai#1379! We'll see you soon!

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