Introduction
Teehee
Groza awaits me. Byebye
HP-35 - Little Glider
And we open up this batch with HP-35, which...already looked kinda like a loli, and now got herself a loli skin.
Okay.
It reminds me of Violet Evergarden, for some reason. Maybe the bike gives me an impression it’s from the early 1900s. Maybe it’s the simple dress. Or her face in the damaged art that sort of reminds me of KyoAni’s anime styles.
1st: prison
2nd: this reminds me of something really dumb, that has actually zero to do with the skin.
2nd: you can’t hit shit with a gun while riding a bike.
>About hitting shit with a gun, see below
A trycicle? HP-35 can’t balance eh?
Not gonna lie, all I see here is Kagamine Rin.
T-5000 - Crimson Destroyer
Go go T5k! Bring justice upon this world!
That said, I'm gonna have to agree with everyone here that her wedding dress is better. The skirt - and a miniskirt at that - doesn't fit with a model warrior. I feel like she should have her shorts from the default outfit here.
And yesss give her default appearance a thigh-baring miniskirt.
Evo 3 - EVO 3’s Dawn
scrolls
3 star SMG it seems.
A few moments later
Hass did.
Smol EVO3, looks cute. The detail I like the most is the little guinea pig or guinea pig-sized hamster on her shoulder that in the damaged art has an expression that screams "I didn't sign up for this!" while falling. Overall a solid skin, but not much interest on my part in these batches.
Edit: probably a hamster since that's what her shirt says.
Also can't appreciate the amount of visible wounds she has in her damaged art. Big oof.
TMP - Black Cat Kindergarten
Kawa, why couldn’t you dress up like TMP?
This is all you get:
GP would like to notify that the following picture has been redacted for privacy reasons.
No Kawa TMP to you.
I promised myself to not pull it.
Sorry Adam, I now simp for Kawa. Considering it took me a few pulls, I’ll say it’s whatever.
sigh
Fine, let’s do it properly. This skin looks tidy. Nothing extraordinary, just what children needs to wear. Simple, neat, tidy, but fluffy nonetheless. A skin that makes you want to hug her. I still need to check if I have TMP. And if I need to throw this to the Typhons.
Everyone has simped for Loli Kawa. Y’all coming to jail with me.
The best thing on the skin is the cat dinergate. Overall a sidegrade to regular TMP. Was never a doll I really bothered with, so there's that. Skin looks clean but it's really just bait for whales who like this kind of skin to open their heart (and wallet).
So, I think I consider this to be the best TMP Skin, at least for normal art, And in one sense, it's the least bad damaged art of her skins (which says something), although in another it's not, so overall Meh points.
Why the hell TMP got a loli skin at all confuses me, because maybe it's just me, but she's always seemed more loli than not to begin with, which might go a long why to explain why I tend to forget she exists. Also, someone explain why she's carrying a flashbang to school? I'm pretty sure that's very illegal.
FAMAS - Bird and Forest Whisperer
NO. I refuse to embarrass myself by trying to type in french, even if I used to be able to read enough to almost survive in a french jungle.
I enjoyed my four years of french well enough, just being a filthy American I never ended up using it so I fell horribly out of practice and knowledge.
Please keep all baguettes eating behind closed doors.
The 94 connoisseur has spoken.
On a different note, I am sad, especially about her damaged art. However, one to note, this skin is not bad, if I'm looking at the purely aesthetic and artistic angle. Why? Becausethe colors the artist picks are good, it doesn't prick our eyes looking at it, the natural touch fits on FAMAS. There's a tragic feel to her damaged art.
Still, idk, nothing really clicks to me, but I do love her color, mainly due to myself liking green a lot.
You know, some time ago I lived in my friend's house for like a month and since I neither went to school nor had a job at that point, most of my days there were spent gaming away, cleaning the house and taking care of my friend's little sister. Basically, I was a mom for a while. and loli famas really reminds me of that time. She looks like she's about the age when she can speak in sentences you understand but you cannot even begin to grasp the thought process behind them, so about 5 to 7 years old.
This is probably the best years of taking care of a kid because of just how fun it can be. Around this time a child's interests and tastes start to develop, you buy them toys they like, and take care in activities they pick, and, to be perfectly honest, I would freakin love to play paintball, asg, or something of the sort with my younger siblings/kids, it'd just be so chaotic and fun (maybe modify the guns so the kids don't get hurt tho) and that is exactly the vibe famas here gives me.
And, of course, after a good time playing in the dirt, one has to bathe, and while kids at this age mostly can bathe on their own, sometimes you have to help them was their hair, and to me, that's just a really lovely time, I mean, parenting, man :) good vibes all 'round.
Famas just really brings me back to the time I was pretending to be a mom, and despite how depressed I was back then, I really treasure that time because of how fun it was to take care of and play with my friend's little sister.
TL;DR kawa wants to adopt a kid.
X95 - White Rose Girl
X95 is the only skin that I feel it’s a children’s skin, yet at the same time it doesn't. Her comfiness and wholesomeness apart, I always had a hard time figuring if she’s young, or if she’s just a midget. If you told me this is her default, and her default art is her children’s day skin, I probably wouldn’t have known better.
Looks very precious, 10/10 would protecc, no I aint spending 2600 gems on a loli skin.
She is not the sister, she's the party priestess.
However you feel the value diminishes. Like, it’s not the value of the skin.
Let's say tokens and oath rings make up 1080 gems or whatever. That means the skin itself is valued, according to them, at around 1500 gems, but you don't get to choose to buy it for that value, you have to purchase it for the full 2500 gems.
And while that doesn't change the value because you ARE getting extra stuff, it shuns away people who might consider it at a lower price tag.
Sure, let's say skin + ring at 1980 gems, still sounds like a better deal than the package there right now.
Now let me tell you, I have 8 rings sitting in storage. Do I get my point across that those should be optional? Make it like a McDonalds menu, you have the skin and you can get cheaper fries (tokens) and a drink (ring) on the side for cheaper.
I mean, they already, for some reason, base the cost of the skin on the rarity of the doll.
Just imagine, this X95 skin, priced at (let's say) 1588. You click it and there's an option like "add +100 tokens for 450 or 500 gems" and "add +1 ring for 400 gems".
Ethreain, Test or Cage? Choose one:
Ok, Doc confirmed a filthy lolicon, telling us to look up that.
WAIT WHAT
This is X95?! I read it as QBZ95. Plz, my brain is fried from last night, I don’t want to go to jail.
In the same place as my dignity, self worth, and caffeinated beverages.
Missing.
Anyway, I think the relatively light changes make this skin work almost okay for me, outside of being a loli skin and standard objections applying. This very much looks like someone who would grow up to be X95, and while I know that the idea of skins are supposed to show a different aspect of a character, considering the usual vein of these kinds of skins I'm okay with just 'regular but tiny'. Also, aggressively not sexualized, would headpat and hug, and protect, just like regular X95. Pricing however, is a kick in the junk.
Come over, I have Monster to share with you.
Gamepress is not sponsored by Monster.
Not much to say on this one. Heiwari does his job, which is nice. but X95 loses the mom friend vibes she had in her normal art, which I'm not very fond of. The outfit seems kinda... bland, like it's just a reskin of negev. I remember when there was a joke with her normal art and wakanda foreva, but not anything interesting. with the hefty price tag on this skin it kinda feels like just a waste of space. maybe people who really really hate her default art would buy this one, idk.
AK-Alfa - Rainbow-Calling Flower Fairy
Ah yes. The skin that makes me even more irrationally angry than average because it could have been a good KSG skin but nooooooo it had to be a loli Alfa skin.
Good KSG skin implies not being a loli skin. If we get a KSG loli skin I will actually rage.
...Just kidding, I wouldn’t rage. I would just vanish into sadness.
[REDACTED]
Could have been a good alfa skin.
Could have been a good MG4 skin.
A good anything skin.
And it’s not even a good loli skin.
No it wasn’t.
Anyway, I catch you lewding Smol-Alfa, I shall
Vague threats that don't land because I'm not scary done, let's talk about this skin for a minute.
The good: It's not lewd. Fairly cute I guess, long poofy sleeves. The L2D animations are good enough at a glance.
The bad: What is with the gasmask exactly? Do not take assault rifles to Kindergarten (PS this word is weird).
The salt: L2D, and not a non-loli KSG.
If I had to rate the skin on its own, 100% on the protect scale, she 100% comes off as a younger Alfa, so, points...??? I really don't have a lot to say because otherwise, this will turn into a long philosophical tirade about my feelings about child skins and a bunch of other things that are well and completely beyond the scope of this little shitposting group of ours. I mean, the skins succeed at being what it is, without being bait for the FBI, so empirically I can call it a success, but principally I have strong opinions.
Regarding Alfa herself, I'll do another post later about her. Suffice it to say she's my third favorite doll, and pushing Barret back to 4th when she appeared.
Sorry Matt, I’ll try to find you a good lawyer. I know a brazilian guy who knows an Argentinian guy who knows a Chilean guy who can probably bail you out of jail.
Sounds very legit.
Sorry Matt, Soul’s stabbing you to death.
Nah, I’ll let him rot in jail a bit first, I’m stabbing you for that godforsaken game.
And thus, Shilling Panel came to an end
…
…
No, it hasn’t, I need my slave/slave master alive. Stand by for more shilling.
Very cute skin overall. The banner showing up every day gets annoying though.
Appreciate that they aren't lewding smol-Alfa, but doesn't seem that interesting of a skin overall. I like the detail of her thermos flask, the animation where she honks her head, and the damaged art really gives a "protecc" feeling, but two loli batches back to back was a bad move, and there's not enough to make me roll for it. Maybe if I knew more about her.
Expectantly waiting for Muse to go on his discourse about why Aalfa is great
Hope I won’t disappoint. I honestly couldn't tell you why I took one look at Alfa's design (Normal Alfa, not loli Alfa) and was already sold, but same thing happened with KSG, so I blame Nico somehow or another, although I'll 100% concede to same face and twiggy legs allegations. But enough about art.
Prior to the Griffon story, we didn't have that much for a character for Alfa beyond her character card, which already had my attention as a Sci-fi nerd, and as someone who grew up on a lot of astronomy and such, already went over well. Am nerd, other nerds are great, other nerds who are also cute girls are ++++. Collecting odd things is a habit I also get on with, although in my case it's legit weird random nonsense (I have a jellyfish in a resin block for instance), less something concise like beer bottles....and now I'm pretty sure I sound like a weirdo.
I'm going to push back on the characterization of her as a drunk that a lot of people seem to have, because there is almost no evidence of this, beyond saying she likes beer, which as someone who likes an occasional beer, and knows at least one person who probably counts as a drunk, and has known several before, does not make one a drunk, or even close too it. Only her Damaged line hints at it so heck off 'K? K. Rant over.
I can also 100% sympathize with being bad about asking people about your interests or seeking out groups that share your interests, although in my case it's less pride, more being bad at people. See Smol416 for opinions on pridefulness, although Alfa isn't as bad about it, being more standoffish than anything else, which is accurate to me.
Her Dummy Linking Line 'This will increase the number of people I can speak to ... wait a minute. Isn't talking to yourself a little sad?' hits a little close to home as well, actually quite a few of her lines do NGL.
Her Griffon Story is A+, things with character growth are excellent. Go read, is good.
Today I learned, 4k character limit is Nitro Nitro, not nitro classic. Discord ya twits.
Only reason I haven't read a lot of bond stories is that I have to farm login dolls in Campaign.
HAHA, joke’s on you, I farmed all painpeko campaigns.
Soul is unsure why Adam volunteers for more work.
The thing on my mind here actually is why Alfa actually has a vacuum flask - the kind to keep hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold - but it's empty in the damaged art.
I guess she finished all her water or something.
All I can say is that Alfa's cuteness is working exactly as intended.
Omake
No Omake this time around, we got too much shitpost as it is.
Besides, for some reason, Adam is off to overworking again. Time to exercise my powers as Gamepress overlord boss for some bonking.
Meanwhile, lookout for the next episode. We going on a beach trip with Ceia!
